Looking for a job






Sure, I have some health issues but, I have not let anything beat me my entire life and I am in no mood to let it yet!





I’ve a couple of interviews lined up already and my aim is to be fully employed and earning by next month (end of) which I have convinced myself is possible.





As we failed in the process of becoming foster parents because Dennis doesn’t yet have the right UK status I decided to try another route at helping to raise kids in need so, whilst it isn’t all I am going for by a long way, it is on the list … go me … yay!


55 Years old


1963 Ford Cortina




What is age?





Well, The lovely car above was all the rage when I was born, that’s a rather long while ago now … but, I hear you say, the year I was born isn’t as important as the year I became an adult so, let’s explore a car of 1981 instead





More like it … still rather old but … when I was 18, this was the dogs bollox




Yes, the VW Golf GTI … all the latest tech, you know, an engine, brakes, lights … probably had, as an extra, a MW radio and cassette player too.





TOKYO, Japan- 2 Sep 1945- Allied sailors and officers watch General of the Army Douglas MacArthur sign documents during the surrender ceremony aboard Missouri on 2 September 1945.




Yes, just under 18 years before I was born was the final surrender of Japan in World War 2 … some of you can easily contemplate 18 years as a number you can understand.





I was 3 when this happened.




Yes, you might consider the first moon landing (One small step for a man) as ancient history but, I remember this!









This was the track to listen to on my 18th birthday! Adam & The Ants, Stand and Deliver





This is a list of computer games I could play as a kid … oh, no, they actually didn’t really exist then … here is the first games console I had













It was very exciting back in the day.





My first car, like the one on the left




Yes, a glorious mustard colour car with a black vinyl roof and plastic seats.





Vauxhall Viva from the 70’s




My first upgrade car was a Vauxhall Viva very much like this one with fabric seats. Drove like a tank! The one in the picture has leather seats which would have been an aspiration too far for me at 18!





Back in the day I could keep going and going. I could also, until my mid 20’s, eat and drink just about anything without any negative reaction … OK, occasionally I got very pissed with inevitable results but, I was not overweight and, by rights I should have been





It is frustrating getting older when the mind still says ‘I can do that’ yet, realistically, I can’t. Things I really enjoy doing I am just useless at which is frustrating and also a reminder of the abilities I have lost over the years. It is sad in a way. Trying to transition between up for anything and being selective what I can still do.


The Art of Positib … Positivti … Seeing the good side


Looking forward to 2019





Pay rise





This year I am going to get a pay rise … I know this because currently I get nothing and I plan to get something so, a raise is on the cards





Health





As the year goes on I am going to continue to have health. The alternative is I’ll be dead so, I am looking at health for my best option. It might not be good health but, any health is better than the alternative.





New Family Member





Well, someone I am related to somewhere is going to get pregnant so it’s probably very likely maybe!





A Great Holiday





Back in the day, a holiday would have been a trek to the countryside so I am really fortunate that the countryside is just down the road, my entire year could be a holiday!





I Will Feel Loved





Obviously





I will see the funny side





Anyone who doesn’t is in for a miserable life!





Weight is just going to Fall Off me





I’ve a sort of ongoing weight problem. We can all lose weight, I do everytime I take a shit but, the longer term aim is to get rid of the huge mass of body fat I currently have wrapped around me. I am going to do that … with your help!





Summing Up





A random guy said to me a few days ago after a brief chat that I am obviously a glass half full guy and, he’s totally right of course. I could look a the life I have right now and despair at the pain I am in, the financial mess and, my historical experiences certainly might give me cause to fret but, that’s not how I think. I prefer, and I do this naturally, to think of what positive experiences I got from the bad experiences in the past. What do I actually have now rather than what I don’t have. How fortunate it is that I have this pain because, I am the sort who can cope with it and find a path through (even if it’s taking longer than I planned). I have so many good things in my life and that’s what I remember when the demons attack. I know when I feel really panicked with pain and anxiety of an evening that, tomorrow is another day, it’ll be better tomorrow even if only for a bit. I am still me.





I know many are anti religion, this is a very little understood thing about me. I am very against organised religion, I am quite sure they are all corrupt and in it for the money and power it affords them. I am into faith, pure faith. I pray rarely but when I do, my prayers, more often than not, are eventually answered. Sometimes instantly, other times, it takes years. I do not cringe when I hear the name Jesus. I did many years ago, I get that feeling but once I realised that my dislike was not for the faith but for those who held the power in religion and I separated those two, I finally got it.





I don’t do prayers with everyone else, mine are personal. If I needed to be told what to say then I am missing the point.





Be happy in life, if you can’t be happy, be hopeful, if you can’t be hopeful, find someone who is and trust them.


Beauty Pageants


Something changed here in the UK





In reality, with growing gender equality here in Britain it became apparent that valuing women primarily for their looks was inappropriate. Demeaning was the word most commonly used, it devalued women to little more than fashion accessories for men in the eyes of many. I have to confess, I too feel uncomfortable with the concept.





Too many countries seem to hold with the belief that attractiveness should lead to success, a person can get on better in life purely because they look the part.





Just think about that for a moment, look long and hard at it and how damaging a concept that is. One person is better in every way to another just because of genetic markers they have zero control over? So, the logic might go, brown haired people should automatically be better than red heads because of their hair colour? Clearly the assumption is flawed.





In the UK the pageants are all but banned. It’s nearly impossible to watch one except on a streaming service. Many of the judges, looking back, were really just lecherous men in need of some totty. 





We’ve all seen those awful interviews meant to get to the core of the contestants personality which really just showed that beauty was just about their only attribute of note. 





In some countries, the concept of beauty is so empowering that many employers will choose staff based primarily on it. With beauty comes that other little issue, ageism, nobody loves a fairy when she’s forty as the old song goes and it is so terribly true with many companies looking to fill their desks with beautiful people.





Don’t we just need to get away from this whole notion that beauty somehow makes anyone a better person? Is it healthy to label someone on nothing more than their looks. You go in the attractive queue, you go in the lesser queue and everyone else is too unattractive so just as well go home? 





Does a beauty queen represent their town or country? No, of course not! If the UK (doesn’t happen) were to win a beauty contest, does it suddenly make Theresa May look more attractive? Does it boost the career prospects of all women? No, of course not and that there is the crux of it. Beautiful people, women, get hired but their career depends on their looks. Advancement is often elusive to them because, on looks alone, Sheila up in accounts isn’t going to hire them, she wants competent people who can do their job, not some beauty who is going to distract her male workers. So, it gets the foot in the door, on the bottom rung of a company and then the beauty, because that was the primary reason for getting the job, they get stuck.





I spoke to a really attractive guy once, I’ll talk to anyone me. He was mid 20’s and all alone in a bar. Gay, surrounded by gay guys. I asked him why someone as attractive as him didn’t have a swarm of guys around him. The answer was really sad … he told me that many men seemed to be scared of his attractiveness and wouldn’t talk to him. Those that did only wanted his body, they were not looking for a relationship. He said, it often felt like winning the lottery, all that money but a total inability to know which people want to be friends because they like you and which, the majority, because you had money.





That’s really sad isn’t it?





Now, I am not suggesting that attractive people do something to make themselves unattractive, that’s just silly. What I am getting at here is, highlighting attractiveness as a certain body shape, the exact right look is counter productive. As an intelligent species we should be beyond that, we should be able to think deeper than that. 





Every person regardless of their physical appearance deserves the same chances in life. As I have demonstrated, putting extra value on beauty is also detrimental to them as well as those who are perceived not to make the beauty grade.





The crazy thing is, if we’re honest, we all have our own perception of beauty anyway. Why are we having it dictated to us by beauty pageants? That is a form of beauty, it is not the only form. Just think of those teenage girls who end up with eating disorders trying to be ‘beautiful’, those boys who see every female as though he’s a right to see her in a swimming costume?





Humans are better than this, we all deserve better. I honestly believe that our obsession with someone’s else’s version of beauty explains why so many actors and singers just look so much alike. Men give these girls jobs and careers, so rarely do girls who don’t meet the beauty bar level get on in music or acting, we can think of them ourselves it is so easy.





Maybe it is just now time to let these pageants go? Let the value we put upon women be because of why they are, not what they look like?





My mum was beautiful, I bet yours was too yet, she likely wouldn’t have got past the first stage of a beauty contest. Would we ever wanted to have swapped her for someone who did? No, that’s the real understanding of beauty, what is inside and only that.