HWA

Jermaine has been in respite now since December 5th and he comes home tomorrow. The thing is, he can go in again December 27th – January 28th and that may well take us up until not long before he goes full time residential.

I have to admit, we have got used to not having him around, it sort of happened without us noticing. It also shows that when he goes full time, we won’t be visiting very often and that makes me a little sad. It’s probably also a reflection of the dwindling emotional attachment we have toward him. Sure, to the boy he used to be we are very close but who we have now we hardly know and never will do, it is just weird to think of Jermaine as ever having been here. I guess I am allowed to say that.

Still, enough about that …

I got the draft complaint back from the guy that will be dealing with it for us against social services and it doesn’t even start to address the issues. I am going to have to go over it and the original complaint letter we sent him to make sure he includes it all as we want it and not his filtered down version.

Robin has his car back now which I am greatly relieved about. It became obvious that the DWP were going to drag their heels on the matter so I paid for it on my plastic. All I now have to sort out is how on earth Robin is ever going to repay it! I am in no great hurry as the card company won’t ask me to pay it until late January but after that my bank account at the Abbey will be overdrawn and I will need to start paying them interest. It isn’t much and manageable but even so, it’ll be there. Not to worry, it’ll work out and I have no qualms about lending Robin the money.

I updated my Disneyland Paris site today though not sure I needed to bother and my heart wasn’t in it. http://www.disneyparis.org.uk in case you are interested.

It appears on Kagoul that I have been voted by many people as ‘The Most Informative Member’. It’s a nice compliment to pay but, well, sexiest, most fun, craziest would all have felt better. Most Informative makes me sound so boring!

One person said that I am amazing and cope with more than anyone else there could and, maybe he is right but I don’t see it that way. I cope with what I do because I have had to, it didn’t just happen over night, it has taken years to get to where I am now. It is all relative anyway. I am quite certain that when someone says that they feel totally crap because their boyfriend of two weeks didn’t call, they feel just as bad as I do when I have to go to high level meetings about the future of my son and we are all amazing in our own way with what we can cope with.

Jermaine has been in respite now since December 5th and he comes home tomorrow. The thing is, he can go in again December 27th – January 28th and that may well take us up until not long before he goes full time residential.

I have to admit, we have got used to not having him around, it sort of happened without us noticing. It also shows that when he goes full time, we won’t be visiting very often and that makes me a little sad. It’s probably also a reflection of the dwindling emotional attachment we have toward him. Sure, to the boy he used to be we are very close but who we have now we hardly know and never will do, it is just weird to think of Jermaine as ever having been here. I guess I am allowed to say that.

Still, enough about that …

I got the draft complaint back from the guy that will be dealing with it for us against social services and it doesn’t even start to address the issues. I am going to have to go over it and the original complaint letter we sent him to make sure he includes it all as we want it and not his filtered down version.

Robin has his car back now which I am greatly relieved about. It became obvious that the DWP were going to drag their heels on the matter so I paid for it on my plastic. All I now have to sort out is how on earth Robin is ever going to repay it! I am in no great hurry as the card company won’t ask me to pay it until late January but after that my bank account at the Abbey will be overdrawn and I will need to start paying them interest. It isn’t much and manageable but even so, it’ll be there. Not to worry, it’ll work out and I have no qualms about lending Robin the money.

I updated my Disneyland Paris site today though not sure I needed to bother and my heart wasn’t in it. http://www.disneyparis.org.uk in case you are interested.

It appears on Kagoul that I have been voted by many people as ‘The Most Informative Member’. It’s a nice compliment to pay but, well, sexiest, most fun, craziest would all have felt better. Most Informative makes me sound so boring!

One person said that I am amazing and cope with more than anyone else there could and, maybe he is right but I don’t see it that way. I cope with what I do because I have had to, it didn’t just happen over night, it has taken years to get to where I am now. It is all relative anyway. I am quite certain that when someone says that they feel totally crap because their boyfriend of two weeks didn’t call, they feel just as bad as I do when I have to go to high level meetings about the future of my son and we are all amazing in our own way with what we can cope with.

I want to start by saying I had a great weekend, I really did for all sorts of reasons.

It was not just the company I was in, and John is lovely, it was also the company I spoke to and met that made it special.

But, back a little … I found out on Friday what I suspected for a while, it seems I do have arthritis and it is more a case of finding out what type than ‘if’. What I know for a fact it is that my joints have been really quite painful even with the pain killers.

On Saturday I got to ride a horse thanks to John. It was one of the scariest things I have ever done. It may actually be ranking way up there with the scariest thing I have ever done and I can’t even remember what that was!

Why was it scary? Hmm, difficult to answer really. True, Benji was big, s shire cross (picture included) but I had kind of made my mind up that the worst that could happen was me falling off and the worst that could do was kill me so not so terrible (just kidding). No, what was really scaring me was not being in control. It was Martyn that commented to me about my tendency to be a control freak and he did me a real favour because he’s totally right, I am and I hate it. I don’t mean to be, I thick it is my defence mechanism, be in control and no one can hurt me. Well, when it came to control and who had it, Benji won by a short leg or a dog’s bullock or a bee’s kneecap, I don’t really know the right term. There was no way if he decided to do his own thing I was going to be able to stop him. To make matters worse, he had this habit of throwing his head around. Each movement caused me no end of pain in my shoulders, my right hand in particular was very painful within minutes, by the time I got off, it was almost unbearable pain. When we got back to the yard he decided it was feed time and that meant, nose down in a bucket of grub with me leaning backwards unable to reach the reins and then Benji picking a fight with the horse who’s feed it was! I was so relieved to get off that horse it was unreal.

It may seem like I regretted the ride but that isn’t the case, I really am glad I did it. I won’t want to do it again but it was on my list of things to do and it’s done and I know for sure now it is not for me.

One of my friends has issues and was calling John. It’s really very sad because if he could know what us older than him know, he would be really upbeat and looking forward to life but it is so easy when young to not be able to trust what you are told. It is not until he experiences more of life and, more important, more people that he will get to learn that the world is a huge place and there are thousands of guys out there that are just right for us, we just need to find them.

Good to meet Steve again, shame he was feeling rough but hopefully it will clear up quite quickly.

Now, I really must call Robin … Oh, and M, can you text me, let me know you got home OK? Thank you 🙂

I want to start by saying I had a great weekend, I really did for all sorts of reasons.

It was not just the company I was in, and John is lovely, it was also the company I spoke to and met that made it special.

But, back a little … I found out on Friday what I suspected for a while, it seems I do have arthritis and it is more a case of finding out what type than ‘if’. What I know for a fact it is that my joints have been really quite painful even with the pain killers.

On Saturday I got to ride a horse thanks to John. It was one of the scariest things I have ever done. It may actually be ranking way up there with the scariest thing I have ever done and I can’t even remember what that was!

Why was it scary? Hmm, difficult to answer really. True, Benji was big, s shire cross (picture included) but I had kind of made my mind up that the worst that could happen was me falling off and the worst that could do was kill me so not so terrible (just kidding). No, what was really scaring me was not being in control. It was Martyn that commented to me about my tendency to be a control freak and he did me a real favour because he’s totally right, I am and I hate it. I don’t mean to be, I thick it is my defence mechanism, be in control and no one can hurt me. Well, when it came to control and who had it, Benji won by a short leg or a dog’s bullock or a bee’s kneecap, I don’t really know the right term. There was no way if he decided to do his own thing I was going to be able to stop him. To make matters worse, he had this habit of throwing his head around. Each movement caused me no end of pain in my shoulders, my right hand in particular was very painful within minutes, by the time I got off, it was almost unbearable pain. When we got back to the yard he decided it was feed time and that meant, nose down in a bucket of grub with me leaning backwards unable to reach the reins and then Benji picking a fight with the horse who’s feed it was! I was so relieved to get off that horse it was unreal.

It may seem like I regretted the ride but that isn’t the case, I really am glad I did it. I won’t want to do it again but it was on my list of things to do and it’s done and I know for sure now it is not for me.

One of my friends has issues and was calling John. It’s really very sad because if he could know what us older than him know, he would be really upbeat and looking forward to life but it is so easy when young to not be able to trust what you are told. It is not until he experiences more of life and, more important, more people that he will get to learn that the world is a huge place and there are thousands of guys out there that are just right for us, we just need to find them.

Good to meet Steve again, shame he was feeling rough but hopefully it will clear up quite quickly.

Now, I really must call Robin … Oh, and M, can you text me, let me know you got home OK? Thank you 🙂