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- Twas the night before Christmas, well, afternoon really
- We’re all for big hugs, we’re all touchy feely
- Presents beneath our black Christmas tree they sit
- I hope they’re all good but probably shit
- We’ve shopped ’til we’ve dropped, go Comets, go Dixons
- Homebase and Halfords, the lights we did fix ’em
- Flashing and Throbbing, watched Batman and Robin
- Ate some minced pies, some sausage and fries
- Roll on tomorrow, it’s mad but we love it
- Cooking the dinner, the turkey we stuff it
- Open the prezzies we are so full of glee
- Something for you and much more for me
- So get thee to bed, be still, rest your head
- put down that book, your clothing do shed
- Dream pleasant dreams of Christmas’s past
- Close your eyes now my love, it’s Christmas at last
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