Holiday time!

No, I cannot actually go on holiday, it isn’t even worth booking one but, I need to get into holiday mode because all these stuff going around us stinks don’t it?

So, I am winding down ready for the hot weather, for the end of this dumb arsed lockdown, to being vaccinated, to enjoying life properly again.

With the help of these fellas, who are really some great guys, we’re going to have an awesome outdoor social space to share with anyone we want to, we’ll even be able to cook out there too, get cold drinks and listen to music, it’s going to be great.

Now, I admit ,I need to get Bob a better pogo stick as this one really didn’t work but I can look into that.

Roll on the big change 🙂

Gayly Going

I am not comfortable with sexuality playing a part in acting. Likewise, I don’t much care for political correctness being overdone either.

It seems to me that an actor has the responsibility to act as opposed to being themselves. Most of the time when we are watching a character on the screen we have no clue what sort of person they get off on, it’s simply not the reason we’re watching what we’re watching.

Now, Russell T made some comparisons that we wouldn’t expect a white actor to ‘black up’. Well, no, of course not and here is the reason:

If the character portrayed has to be a black person then there are a significant amount of black actors who will match the writers, producers and directors expectations of the role. Getting in a white actor and overdoing the make up just doesn’t make sense and this is a very simple fact, being black, white or any other colour is result of genetics which translate to a given appearance, ie, the person happens to be the colour they are and much acting is visual so, it matters. Of course, were it a voice actor, it matters not one jot as the part doesn’t require a certain look. It’s about choosing the right person for the part and, for that, appearances matter.

Political correctness gone mad

So many movies, TV shows and plays seem to think it is essential to be truly representative so as not to offend someone. That a black person should perhaps be able to play Charles Dickens merely because they are a fine actor and can act well forgetting one very important and vital fact, Dickens was very white! It’s just wrong and anyone who gets offended needs to do some heavy soul searching whether the problem is, perhaps, theirs?

Likewise, some have objected to an actor playing a black role, a role of a person who was black for a fact because they are not the right shade of black and, come on now, that’s totally unimportant and shows a certain degree of racism in itself. For a great many years white people of all shades have played other white people of all shades. For an example look here:

Every one of them a different complexion, different face shape yet. with the use of make up, as convincing as they need to be, especially the last one who actually was Sir Winston of course!

Did they need to find exactly the right shade of white? Of course not because it doesn’t matter when it is ‘close enough’ like these are.

How about these two because, I betcha that there will be someone, somewhere who argues ‘hell no’, he’s totally the wrong sort of black:

Denzel Washington perhaps could play President Barack Obama

I think with a little make up and some damn fine acting, sure, why not?

Anyway, back to Russell T, only gays should play gays

Luke Evans

The ‘straightest’ role in the remake of Beauty & The Beast is played by gay actor, Luke Evans, the love interest of this man:

Josh Gad

Here is the most gay of gay characters ever in a Disney movie, Josh Gad playing LeFou and guess what, he’s not gay!

Two guys playing the opposite of their sexuality and no one gives a damn, indeed, there were more complaints that LeFou was obviously gay than there were about someone who is actually gay in the film!

So, enough of the BS, acting is acting, let’s look at that definition:

Some who pretends to be someone else while performing in a film, play, television or radio programme

That’s it in a nutshell. If it is essential that someone is an exact replica of the person they portray, sadly, that is incredibly unlikely. Whilst there are some striking physical body doubles, they rarely can act the part, the inability to reproduce a ‘close enough’ likeness would be a real loss to acting and this mentality has to stop.

Woke is a political term that originated in the United States, and it refers to a perceived awareness of issues that concern social justice and racial justice. It derives from the African-American Vernacular English expression “stay woke”, whose grammatical aspect refers to a continuing awareness of these issues.

Frustration

This is going to sound like a rant, and maybe it is and perhaps I am just writing this for me to get some of the frustration out there, out of me!

Much of the time I feel like an utter fraud with my health. In my mind I can just do all the things I used to do, no doubt about that at all. 10 mile walk? No problem! Walk up a mountain? Sure, swim a mile? Yeah, not an issue! I can carry heavy things, I can run, I can jump, I can do everything I ever did before and then some.

So I get this disability benefits and think to myself that I shouldn’t be getting them, I am fine. Sure, I hurt like crazy every day and I feel tired all of the time but, that’s OK, I mean, that’ll clear up eventually, it’s just temporary, it’ll pass.

What I cannot accept, despite all the evidence is that this is permanent, I am actually ‘disabled’. Earlier I saw a job offered and thought to myself, I can do that, it’s easy for me a role like that. Sure, £10 an hour is crap but, why not? This is how my mind still works!

The frustration is, there is this huge gap between my idea of me and my reality.

Every day I have to push through the most basic of tasks, just thinking wears me out now. If I am out I feel the fatigue creeping in and know I have to leave right there and then else I won’t be able to drive home, it would be dangerous, I’d be too tired. Likely I’ve only been up after 8 hours sleep for 2-3 hours and that’s me done. So I’ll get home and I’ll force myself through where most likely would be in bed. Realistically, I know I am not going the day without sleep, if I didn’t sleep it would be dangerous for me to drive to collect Dennis.

Today I was ‘normal’, my interpretation of it anyway. I took Dennis to work then me and Daisy went to Milton Keynes, we did the Disney Store, had a coffee and then went off to Costco for some serious shopping. We overshot a little on the timing coming home so had to dash back, we’d forgotten we couldn’t go straight to the school as the back seats of the car were covered in shopping so we had to get that out. This meant me carry heavy stuff indoors in a hurry. Got home with the kids, had a cuppa, got a take out then got the kids to boys brigade in the village. We visited Robin whilst they were there then collected them and went home. I went out, collected the bins from the back and I’ll leave the positivity there and now mention what I left out.

The entire time in Milton Keynes I was using my mobility scooter, I didn’t walk anywhere. We had to stop on the way back because I needed a break, it’s only 30 minutes from Milton Keynes but I needed a break. Daisy had go with me to collect Dennis, I was actually way too tired and shouldn’t have been driving but it was my responsibility and someone with me keeps me alert enough to drive safely. I went to Robins because I would rather ask him in person to collect Dennis tomorrow because, I wouldn’t be able to. I nearly fell trying to collect the bins and Sean rescued me. I caused myself unbearable pain doing it and couldn’t use my left arm for a while.

By 10:30 I was mentally awake but in every other way, I was exhausted so went to bed. At around 2am I woke up again unable to sleep because of the pain and the sweats that I all too often get even when everyone else says it’s chilly. 3:15 and I am still awake and not feeling sleepy. I have taken the strongest pain relief I can but still hurt like crazy. I am also as itchy as can be and have sores in various places which is very uncomfortable.

Friday I know I am going to continue in my melt down, this always happens if I try ‘normal’, the next few days are just really unpleasant. To clarify, I am not depressed or anxious at all, this is pure frustration. I am so looking forward to Christmas, to making plans for next year, it’s going to be great.

Next week I hope to start an exercise course in Daventry, building up slowly at a specialist centre to try and loosen me up again. It’s what they do there, they take sick patients and work them through whatever they can do. Notice how I instinctively didn’t type ‘us’ there?

But, I like my frustration, it means I keep pushing, keep fighting. I am never not going to hug or play with my grandchildren!

The most frustrating part of this frustration is it makes me grumpy sometimes, not fully able to let matters ride. Generally, when I get like that, this is when I relent and sleep. It’s not anyone else’s fault I am like this, or mine for that matter!

I know tomorrow I am going to be screwed but, we are having steak for dinner dammit! Daisy, did I mention we’re having steak? I may even get my new glasses ordered again, maybe!

Now, I am only wearing my underwear and my dressing gown but am sweating loads, should I just go sit in the garden for a bit? It’s 2°C out there so it might cool me down enough to get some sleep. I can feel the pain relief having some effect now.

I know I shouldn’t have to do this but there are some evil people in the world … All that stuff I wrote about mountain climbing, swimming and so on, that’s in my mind, I can’t actually do that so, hold off on the reporting to the DWP fraud line!