Author: Steve Antipolo

Anyway … several months have passed and the last post was about me going to meet Dennis and, as you can see from the pictures, that’s what I did and it was totally and awesomely amazing. We got on really well again, we argued and discovered a lot more about each other in the process and feel much more deeply in love than I thought was possible. Did I mention we got engaged too?

So, that was all excellent stuff and then … the not to excellent stuff!

Zoey didn’t react well to the care home, indeed, she regressed to the point she was put on a section again. That was back in May. Only now, and it’s the third week of August is she settled again. She’s also living in her own flat so, once again, from the depths of despair comes something good. There are still more things to iron out but it’s looking good.

I am currently in more debt than I can handle, it’s all rather terrible actually. One of the down sides of Zoey departing was that we also lost her contribution to the household budget meaning I personally cannot afford to live in my own house. It’s only by virtue of Sean & Daisy paying that we’re keeping it going. I’ve also got a large debt to pay off plus, as we’ve started the visa process for Dennis to come here that’s zapping the savings even quicker than I thought possible. Come next month I can’t see where the money is coming from but, the things we do for love and, I can but trust that somehow we’ll get through it.

I put weight on again since the last report. Not a terrible amount but I am not happy.

Sometimes, and I don’t care whether we say it’s chance of the hand of God, bad stuff happens but it is to path the way for something better. We’re being told that we’re heading down the wrong road and that there is a better way. This has been happening a fair bit lately.

Both me and Dennis thought that being rejected for the visa was the worst thing ever but, in the grand scheme of things, with a lifetime to look forward to, it’s just allowing us a better opportunity to grow even closer. If I am honest, I need a holiday. I’ve not had a real stress free holiday for years. I’ve been out the country but it’s just been the sort of thing I do here but somewhere else, not really relaxing and certainly not with anyone special. Being on my own is OK but it doesn’t compare to sharing life experiences.

So, thanks to Mr Credit Card and Miss Loan I am off to spend the month with Dennis. As said previously, all benefits are cancelled for the month so there is zero question as to whether this is OK or not. We’re going to spend a week or so at the flat meeting folk around there, eating out, going to the cinema and then we’re off to Hong Kong for a few days. Neither of us have been there so it gives us the chance to see how we cope when we’re both out of our environment. Sure, we’re doing Disneyland whilst we’re there, it has to be done. I’ve a habit of wanting to share my love of Disney with those I love. We’re also going to Ocean Park, I love the idea of seeing a panda in China!

After HK we’re heading down south to see the family down there on Mindanao. The Foreign Office say that I am either going to get shot, blown up or kidnapped but I’ll take my chances! After that we’re up in Bohol just the two of us overlooking the sea in what I am sure will be a really relaxing and romantic part of my stay there. Then it’s back to Manila for an overnight stay at the H2O Hotel and finally home again toward the end of May.

Zoey is off on a little adventure herself for the month so Sean & Daisy get the place to themselves for a change.

I think that visa refusal was meant to happen because it’s also given me the embryo of an idea of a way to ensure we get a fiancé visa next year, more on that later.

Thinking of things going wrong but making life better, I don’t think it’s just me this is happening to so I am going with the flow and enjoying prayers being answered.

Did I mention I am going to meet in person my future mother-in-law? Yeah, a little nervous about that, I hope she likes me because that sort of thing is important to me.

I just got my weight under 10 stone for the first time in years though I also just had a Chinese to celebrate, I don’t think I thought that out too well! There are 14 pounds in a stone for those who don’t use UK measurements! That means I am currently 139 pounds.

Do I go watch TV I wonder or play a game? Hmmm, such hard decisions!

Dennis was denied a visitor visa to come here.

This might to some just seem like a disappointment but, to us it is a huge set back.

When a couple apply for a visa for a foreign national to come here one of the requirements is that both have visited each others country, met friends and family. It goes toward proving that the couple are in a committed relationship. If our own government then prevents the foreign national from entering the country on a visitors visa then the chances of getting any other sort of visa are greatly reduced. It doesn’t mean we won’t get one next year it just makes it more difficult.

This year everything was right. I looked into it and we covered, as far as I could tell, every visa requirement, nothing was left to chance and yet, it was denied. I can’t help but believe that it was denied for reasons which are more personal opinion than legally based. They didn’t like the idea of encouraging a gay couple to be together.

Sure, I can go there and likely will. I’ll suspend my pathetic amount of benefits for a few weeks and go over but, that’s not the point. It’s about knowing my own country respects us as a couple and doesn’t deny us our right to family.

We’re not like a heterosexual couple. We cannot marry abroad and then get things sorted in the UK. Same sex relationships are not recognised in The Philippines.

Why is it I can go there visa free for a month and yet my partner gets denied the same right to come here?

If anyone feels so inclined, please write to my MP, David Mackintosh at info@davidmackintosh.org.uk and explain why you feel it is unfair that a couple who has been together for 10 months cannot spend time together in the UK. That you know from personal experience how we speak every day (unlike some married couples). I don’t know if he has any influence or the desire to get involved but I have to try. I already wrote.

Sad to say, a public place like this is not where I am going to share every little detail especially when not every disaster only involves me so, this entry is a little cryptic.

The past several weeks and certainly the past few days have been difficult to say the least. Indeed, difficult is an understatement of the last few days. My emotional level is off the scale, coping is something I was doing last week, right now I am functioning on auto pilot.

Let me tell you what I can without saying too much … the visa for Dennis still hasn’t come through and he’s meant to come here next week, airline prices are rising daily and there is nothing I can do about that. We don’t even know if he’ll be accepted for a visa. There is nothing funny about it.

The household income has taken yet another nose dive, down another few hundred a month now. I’ve got to magic something out of thin air. I usually do so, I’ve got to have faith in myself whilst expecting my luck to totally run out at some point. It’s like being within touching distance of something amazing but having it repeatedly slip away.

Every cloud has a silver lining and I’ve got to believe that. The thing is, why is it that nothing in the life of my family can just go right without something far worse going wrong to compensate for it?

Hopefully my next entry will be more uplifting but, right now, I’ve got nothing except a lot of stuff I’ve got to bottle up.