Author: Steve Antipolo

Imaginative chef wanted to do the menu planning and cooking for one not overly fussy person who must cut out everything which will increase cholesterol and also anything which will provoke the onset of diabetes and promote rapid but healthy weight loss with minimal exercise.

Salary negotiable as long as you don’t need one, can accommodate

Apply in writing to,

who the hell I you kidding at

no chance avenue,

on your bike up the creek

… oh well, worth asking I guess!

but seriously, my head is in a spin trying to sort it all out and tonight I just allowed myself a last binge of unhealthy stuff for the hell of it

Sure, I have some health issues but, I have not let anything beat me my entire life and I am in no mood to let it yet!

I’ve a couple of interviews lined up already and my aim is to be fully employed and earning by next month (end of) which I have convinced myself is possible.

As we failed in the process of becoming foster parents because Dennis doesn’t yet have the right UK status I decided to try another route at helping to raise kids in need so, whilst it isn’t all I am going for by a long way, it is on the list … go me … yay!

What is age?

Well, The lovely car above was all the rage when I was born, that’s a rather long while ago now … but, I hear you say, the year I was born isn’t as important as the year I became an adult so, let’s explore a car of 1981 instead

Yes, the VW Golf GTI … all the latest tech, you know, an engine, brakes, lights … probably had, as an extra, a MW radio and cassette player too.

Yes, just under 18 years before I was born was the final surrender of Japan in World War 2 … some of you can easily contemplate 18 years as a number you can understand.

Yes, you might consider the first moon landing (One small step for a man) as ancient history but, I remember this!

This was the track to listen to on my 18th birthday! Adam & The Ants, Stand and Deliver

This is a list of computer games I could play as a kid … oh, no, they actually didn’t really exist then … here is the first games console I had

It was very exciting back in the day.

Yes, a glorious mustard colour car with a black vinyl roof and plastic seats.

My first upgrade car was a Vauxhall Viva very much like this one with fabric seats. Drove like a tank! The one in the picture has leather seats which would have been an aspiration too far for me at 18!

Back in the day I could keep going and going. I could also, until my mid 20’s, eat and drink just about anything without any negative reaction … OK, occasionally I got very pissed with inevitable results but, I was not overweight and, by rights I should have been

It is frustrating getting older when the mind still says ‘I can do that’ yet, realistically, I can’t. Things I really enjoy doing I am just useless at which is frustrating and also a reminder of the abilities I have lost over the years. It is sad in a way. Trying to transition between up for anything and being selective what I can still do.

Looking forward to 2019

Pay rise

This year I am going to get a pay rise … I know this because currently I get nothing and I plan to get something so, a raise is on the cards

Health

As the year goes on I am going to continue to have health. The alternative is I’ll be dead so, I am looking at health for my best option. It might not be good health but, any health is better than the alternative.

New Family Member

Well, someone I am related to somewhere is going to get pregnant so it’s probably very likely maybe!

A Great Holiday

Back in the day, a holiday would have been a trek to the countryside so I am really fortunate that the countryside is just down the road, my entire year could be a holiday!

I Will Feel Loved

Obviously

I will see the funny side

Anyone who doesn’t is in for a miserable life!

Weight is just going to Fall Off me

I’ve a sort of ongoing weight problem. We can all lose weight, I do everytime I take a shit but, the longer term aim is to get rid of the huge mass of body fat I currently have wrapped around me. I am going to do that … with your help!

Summing Up

A random guy said to me a few days ago after a brief chat that I am obviously a glass half full guy and, he’s totally right of course. I could look a the life I have right now and despair at the pain I am in, the financial mess and, my historical experiences certainly might give me cause to fret but, that’s not how I think. I prefer, and I do this naturally, to think of what positive experiences I got from the bad experiences in the past. What do I actually have now rather than what I don’t have. How fortunate it is that I have this pain because, I am the sort who can cope with it and find a path through (even if it’s taking longer than I planned). I have so many good things in my life and that’s what I remember when the demons attack. I know when I feel really panicked with pain and anxiety of an evening that, tomorrow is another day, it’ll be better tomorrow even if only for a bit. I am still me.

I know many are anti religion, this is a very little understood thing about me. I am very against organised religion, I am quite sure they are all corrupt and in it for the money and power it affords them. I am into faith, pure faith. I pray rarely but when I do, my prayers, more often than not, are eventually answered. Sometimes instantly, other times, it takes years. I do not cringe when I hear the name Jesus. I did many years ago, I get that feeling but once I realised that my dislike was not for the faith but for those who held the power in religion and I separated those two, I finally got it.

I don’t do prayers with everyone else, mine are personal. If I needed to be told what to say then I am missing the point.

Be happy in life, if you can’t be happy, be hopeful, if you can’t be hopeful, find someone who is and trust them.