Category: Uncategorized

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Scooting About

It’s been lovely today using my scooter for the first time. I felt so free and a lot less shattered.
I enjoyed all the fresh air, albeit cold and the interaction with people as I went around the streets like I used to have when walking. Obviously I am still physically capable of walking just not that far before I feel exhausted. Going around Sainsburys usually horrible for me as I starting being in a lot pain, nauseous and shattered very quickly. Today I went around (at a slow pace to avoid injury to anyone) and it was very pleasant indeed. I got some strange looks when I got up to get something but, that’s the point. NOT the strange looks, that isn’t the point but the feeling far more able to do a shop.

I did almost die on the way home when some very silly lady didn’t think a scooter had the right to use a zebra crossing. She ended up driving on the other side of the road calling me all the names under the sun and blaming me for being a blind dick and for being so stupid as to get in her way because she had a child with her. I did suggest that really, eyesight is a question but, not me seeing as I was the one stopped on a crossing whilst she was the one half driving across it on the wrong side of the road. I also suggested that perhaps she might let the child drive, they might make a better job of is. She was not a happy bunny when she drove off.

A random guy shouted as she left suggesting her actions were inappropriate. I don’t think he used those words precisely. All adds to the excitement though.

I have been reluctant to get a scooter for a long while. I viewed it as giving up. It doesn’t feel that way now though. Reality is, what is the point wearing myself out getting from A – B when I could actually enjoy the experience instead.
How lovely it was to see all the birds and hear nature around me too, not done that in such a long while. Did I mention it was cold?
I’m not using it all the while but for some trips, it’s perfect and as an extra bonus, it saves a fortune over using the car!

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Phillip Schofield Opens up About Being Gay | This Morning

It’s a little weird this because it was the self same programme I did my major national coming out on 20 years ago!

Sadly, they turned comments off for this coming out story. I think it may have helped to know what happened way back when.

I have all but stopped with the whole Gay Dad Support Network I have been running since the 1990’s. As it happens, I just discovered Virgin Media have blocked it because they believe there might be something not right about it. I have written them a very stern message saying they best have a very legitimate cause for doing so. Any other Service Provider should still get you there at http://gaydadsupport.net/

I hope that life for Phillip goes on much as it has and that at no time do any of them feel their lives so far have been wasted or a lie. It is simply not true that gay men get married knowingly using women. Most often we get married because we fell in love like anyone else when we were personally at a point in our lives where our sexuality was not clear enough to understand. Many believe, if they even sense they are gay, that it will just fade away over time. Obviously it doesn’t.

There are very few reasons why those who find themselves in this situation cannot choose whichever path works for them. Society doesn’t really have a ‘normal’ for this so whatever the family decide together is the right path for them.

#thismorning #phillipschofield

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Madam Secretary

I do watch a lot of TV and mostly it’s passing some time. Every now and then a series comes along which captivates me. One that resonates with my thinking. Makes me ask how we could do better in life rather than accepting second (or worse) best of our lives and politics.
Let’s face it, few would argue that the elite of society, those born with wealth and privilege truly understand the life of those ‘beneath’ them. Whilst it may be true that money doesn’t buy us happiness, it is also true that it does make being miserable a whole lot easier to deal with! Therefore, how can people like the UK Prime Minister of the US President have any understanding at all of the everyday lives of the citizens of those countries?
With this program they dare to ask, what if someone in power made the leap and got to know the people, served the people and not just themselves and their friends? Wouldn’t the world be so much better?
Anyway, I sat through all six seasons over the past few weeks and enjoyed every episode. I was dreading the last episode, so many good series seem to shy away from a final conclusion to their story in the hope of one more season. Sure, there is a chance of a resurrection of this series but it doesn’t need to, we’re not left wondering what happens next. It was more a case of handing the baton over to the real world and see what responsibility they take with our lives. I personally don’t hold out much hope. 
My only salvation is my chance to leave the UK when I reach retirement age and go somewhere else. True, the Philippines is terrible for corruption, true, they don’t (yes) recognise same sex relationships in law and that aspect upsets me but, though the government doesn’t do much for the people, those people who matter look after themselves. Families care for their elderly without question to the best of their ability and show respect. The young are raised with good values (mostly). I am eternally grateful to my sisters and how they cared for me when I got ill over there and I wasn’t even part of the family at the time, they were just lovely and mum was amazing and so welcoming and loving.
I love my family here loads but, I don’t really love my country any more. I don’t understand why racism is so rife and how it is swaying the decisions in politics. I don’t get how so many can vote for a party which clearly lives to very low standards of moral responsibility. How antisocial so many neighbours are toward each other. How policing is so underfunded so that many now live in fear of crime here. How our wonderful NHS has been so eroded that denying treatment to those in need is supported to save money, as though somehow one of the very richest nations on the planet cannot afford to fund a quality health services. How a nation has so little regard for the disabled and less fortunate in society that they vote for a party which consistently denies those with genuine need support and continues to blame the most vulnerable for the nations problems.

The UK did used to be different to how it is now, it used to be more pleasant to live in. I miss it and cannot see it returning to that in my lifetime.

So, back to the series. If you enjoy programmes about political issues it is worth a watch though, consider that Amazon expect people to pay for the last two seasons on top of their subscription. I am sure, like me, you can find a work around to that.

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First Post of 2020

This is a really insignificant post if I am totally honest .. and I generally am.

I didn’t set any new year resolutions, not really my thing and mainly because I know life has a way of happening differently.

Updates as to where I am in 2020. I am now parentless, it happens. I was very lucky to have at least one parent survive into my 50’s and still so ever so sad that my mum never got to know the real me at all. That finality happened last year so this is the first year of me being at that next level, in other words, the next generation expected to die! Let’s get real, it’s the way life is and we wouldn’t want it anyway, parents should die before their children, they just should.

My health condition has continued to get worse, no connection to the previous paragraph this, just how things are and I don’t expect it to kill me, just make life more difficult than I would like. Certainly it is fair to say that I need to make some changes but with my limited choices, I don’t much like those changes! Trying to get that balance between my longevity and my enjoyment of life is a challenge.

I’ve got to make some positive steps for my future over the next few months. I cannot keep being a victim of the State system, I have to find a way to make it work for me and that’s nowhere near as easy to do as it is when I am fighting for others. So far I am in the situation where for each two steps forward I am a step back again for one reason or another. It is very frustrating. I can say that I feel my country is not the country I grew up in. Back in the day we used to complain if we had to wait an hour for our GP to see us, now we have to accept that we may not get an appointment at all or we must wait several weeks for a telephone consultation. Same with the police. 999 doesn’t work any more, there is very little real protection. Even if we can get the police to take interest we are expected to get the evidence ourselves if we want them to proceed, it’s all about cutting costs. Social Services just insisted on my Zoey doing a voluntary job (don’t worry, we’ll overturn that one). There is no benefit to her doing this, she doesn’t want to and it wouldn’t work for her. She’s actually at a very delicate moment having just come off all her meds and the only logical reason to suggest it is so that social services can cut her care budget. If she goes and does ‘work’ then she doesn’t need a carer, saves them money, screws up Zoey but, the money part is the priority they have to work by.

I can categorically say I am not suffering from depression and mainly not anxiety either. That said, when my body just stops functioning when I am out and about, that’s quite an anxious moment. It happens all too frequently as well.

My body clock is screwed, it’s 04:17 right now and I don’t feel very sleepy at all. Annoyingly, even if I force myself to stay away all of tomorrow to compensate it won’t make any difference! It’ll still be me into the wee small hours trying to sleep!

Ironically, this was meant to come across as positive because I still feel positive about life yet, somehow it reads really negative. Perhaps I just do my most positive thinking in negative situations? 🙂