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Scooting About

It’s been lovely today using my scooter for the first time. I felt so free and a lot less shattered.
I enjoyed all the fresh air, albeit cold and the interaction with people as I went around the streets like I used to have when walking. Obviously I am still physically capable of walking just not that far before I feel exhausted. Going around Sainsburys usually horrible for me as I starting being in a lot pain, nauseous and shattered very quickly. Today I went around (at a slow pace to avoid injury to anyone) and it was very pleasant indeed. I got some strange looks when I got up to get something but, that’s the point. NOT the strange looks, that isn’t the point but the feeling far more able to do a shop.

I did almost die on the way home when some very silly lady didn’t think a scooter had the right to use a zebra crossing. She ended up driving on the other side of the road calling me all the names under the sun and blaming me for being a blind dick and for being so stupid as to get in her way because she had a child with her. I did suggest that really, eyesight is a question but, not me seeing as I was the one stopped on a crossing whilst she was the one half driving across it on the wrong side of the road. I also suggested that perhaps she might let the child drive, they might make a better job of is. She was not a happy bunny when she drove off.

A random guy shouted as she left suggesting her actions were inappropriate. I don’t think he used those words precisely. All adds to the excitement though.

I have been reluctant to get a scooter for a long while. I viewed it as giving up. It doesn’t feel that way now though. Reality is, what is the point wearing myself out getting from A – B when I could actually enjoy the experience instead.
How lovely it was to see all the birds and hear nature around me too, not done that in such a long while. Did I mention it was cold?
I’m not using it all the while but for some trips, it’s perfect and as an extra bonus, it saves a fortune over using the car!

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Phillip Schofield Opens up About Being Gay | This Morning

It’s a little weird this because it was the self same programme I did my major national coming out on 20 years ago!

Sadly, they turned comments off for this coming out story. I think it may have helped to know what happened way back when.

I have all but stopped with the whole Gay Dad Support Network I have been running since the 1990’s. As it happens, I just discovered Virgin Media have blocked it because they believe there might be something not right about it. I have written them a very stern message saying they best have a very legitimate cause for doing so. Any other Service Provider should still get you there at http://gaydadsupport.net/

I hope that life for Phillip goes on much as it has and that at no time do any of them feel their lives so far have been wasted or a lie. It is simply not true that gay men get married knowingly using women. Most often we get married because we fell in love like anyone else when we were personally at a point in our lives where our sexuality was not clear enough to understand. Many believe, if they even sense they are gay, that it will just fade away over time. Obviously it doesn’t.

There are very few reasons why those who find themselves in this situation cannot choose whichever path works for them. Society doesn’t really have a ‘normal’ for this so whatever the family decide together is the right path for them.

#thismorning #phillipschofield

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Madam Secretary

I do watch a lot of TV and mostly it’s passing some time. Every now and then a series comes along which captivates me. One that resonates with my thinking. Makes me ask how we could do better in life rather than accepting second (or worse) best of our lives and politics.
Let’s face it, few would argue that the elite of society, those born with wealth and privilege truly understand the life of those ‘beneath’ them. Whilst it may be true that money doesn’t buy us happiness, it is also true that it does make being miserable a whole lot easier to deal with! Therefore, how can people like the UK Prime Minister of the US President have any understanding at all of the everyday lives of the citizens of those countries?
With this program they dare to ask, what if someone in power made the leap and got to know the people, served the people and not just themselves and their friends? Wouldn’t the world be so much better?
Anyway, I sat through all six seasons over the past few weeks and enjoyed every episode. I was dreading the last episode, so many good series seem to shy away from a final conclusion to their story in the hope of one more season. Sure, there is a chance of a resurrection of this series but it doesn’t need to, we’re not left wondering what happens next. It was more a case of handing the baton over to the real world and see what responsibility they take with our lives. I personally don’t hold out much hope. 
My only salvation is my chance to leave the UK when I reach retirement age and go somewhere else. True, the Philippines is terrible for corruption, true, they don’t (yes) recognise same sex relationships in law and that aspect upsets me but, though the government doesn’t do much for the people, those people who matter look after themselves. Families care for their elderly without question to the best of their ability and show respect. The young are raised with good values (mostly). I am eternally grateful to my sisters and how they cared for me when I got ill over there and I wasn’t even part of the family at the time, they were just lovely and mum was amazing and so welcoming and loving.
I love my family here loads but, I don’t really love my country any more. I don’t understand why racism is so rife and how it is swaying the decisions in politics. I don’t get how so many can vote for a party which clearly lives to very low standards of moral responsibility. How antisocial so many neighbours are toward each other. How policing is so underfunded so that many now live in fear of crime here. How our wonderful NHS has been so eroded that denying treatment to those in need is supported to save money, as though somehow one of the very richest nations on the planet cannot afford to fund a quality health services. How a nation has so little regard for the disabled and less fortunate in society that they vote for a party which consistently denies those with genuine need support and continues to blame the most vulnerable for the nations problems.

The UK did used to be different to how it is now, it used to be more pleasant to live in. I miss it and cannot see it returning to that in my lifetime.

So, back to the series. If you enjoy programmes about political issues it is worth a watch though, consider that Amazon expect people to pay for the last two seasons on top of their subscription. I am sure, like me, you can find a work around to that.

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An emotional time (but I’ll get over it)

Me & Dad at his care home
Dad has been gone for some time now and, despite that we didn’t really get along I am missing him. 
Christmas was difficult as was New Year, both as he had been here the year before and the year before that and we had a good time.
Wednesday 15th is the day his flat is sold. It is the last tangible link to him. He never actually lived there, though that was the intention. His dementia suddenly got very bad and unmanageable at home just weeks before the completion of the sale so we instead got tenants in and used the rental income to part pay the care home fees.
It was a very nice care home, Dad wasn’t happy there but then, Dad wouldn’t have been happy anywhere, that was Dad. 
My feelings right now and all over the place and I have been feeling quite down, it’s like the final goodbye.
I don’t know if you feel like this but somehow I feel different now that both my parents have gone. Sure, part of it is my feeling that it’s my turn next, that generational position in the family, I could do without that but mainly it is that my connection with a huge chunk of my past that perhaps even I don’t remember properly has gone. Not that Dad, bless him, could have been much help on that front over the last years, he barely knew who anyone was. I think he knew he could trust me at the end (last July) but not really sure who he thought I was yet … there were some days when he proudly introduced me as his son … another sign that the dementia was in control as this is something he would never have done when he was healthy!

Dad’s little memoriam area at our place

His mind managed to resurrect many long since dead relatives, I went along with him mostly except when it was obvious he knew that something wasn’t right. It really isn’t fair to remind someone that a person they cared about has gone. Pleasantly he had forgotten that my mum had gone and often used to ask how she was and if I could ask her to visit at some point. He said he thought that somehow he had upset her but couldn’t remember what he had done. That’s really quite sad.

I am confident we made the right choice not to have a traditional funeral. The family is so fractured with so many strong views that we didn’t feel the need to go through that. Both Essex and Northampton did there own thing locally for what felt right for us. Thankfully me and my sister were and are in agreement on how things were handled. We had been through a complicated enough funeral when our mum died with two funeral receptions arranged by different factions of the family. This time we had to get it right as we were not going to get another try at it.
For both of us I feel that the sale of the flat was the final closure for us. It is 6 months after he passed but selling was a little trying!

I am very glad he got to meet Dennis a few times in his final years and they got along, that made me really happy. Of course, everyone gets along with Dennis!
End of an era and I guess 87 isn’t too bad … had he only not left mentally many years earlier.